St. Peter's Question

Due to a bottleneck,  a wide variety of newly deceased all arrived at the pearly gates at the same time.  

They came from all walks of life, from all different periods.  

St. Peter, the gatekeeper, interviewed them all as they arrived.  He asked them one simple question.  

"What one thing do you wish that you had had while still on Earth?  Or what do you wish you had done?"


A carnivorous youth from Brownsville, Texas answered, "Pinata sirloin."

The heartbroken, balding, discredited investment banker said, "A loan in spirit."

A failed off-Broadway actor replied, "Nil aspiration."

The shamed and much beleaguered actor from Southern California yearned for "a porn initials."

The nationalistic mathematician cried out, "National, pi, sir!"

The gregarious networker, who had never once been to Hawa'ii or taken part in its infamous conferences, longed for "a lanai intro sip."

A visionary blacksmith from the Bronze Age had wanted to be "spatial in iron."

The beauty queen who had had a great deal of misfortunes with her crown blowing off at outdoor events had always wished for "tiara loin pins."

The optometrist turned proctologist who had failed to achieve his pioneering yet radical cataract surgery technique, always regretting that he never had an "anal iris point" mechanism.

A rapper from Compton who wished that more people had been able to recognize him when he made hotel reservations, wished that he had "no rap initials."

The Navy SEAL who felt that he got to the party too late had wished that he "ran initial ops."

A pain management-conscious podiatrist wanted "Aspirin to nail" so that maybe, just maybe, he could have prevented the "nail pain riots."

An old Dutch sailor wished that he had had a "sailor pain tin" that could have eased the suffering of his mates.

And a Jolt Cola distribution manager, assigned to Rome, had committed suicide because he could never generate a "Lira nation sip" while still on Earth.


All of these answers are inspirational.  Do you know why?